SOMEWHERE BETWEEN THERE AND THEN, I AM HERE
30 Aug 2017—16 Sept 2017
Somewhere between there and then, I am here.
I’ve been waiting for a very long time to get there and I will wait longer.
Here doesn’t feel like there.
I can feel there from here.
Then, I thought about there.
Here, I thought about there.
When there is here, I will remember then.
If there is never here, I will remember then.
Somewhere between there and then, I am here,
contemplates the physical, emotional and
spiritual experience of in-between-ness.
I’ve been doing In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) for a
while, but now I’ve stopped. I hoped I would be
a mother, but I am not. I’m grieving. Where I
am now and where I will be soon is not clear. I
am only certain that because I’m an artist, I will
make-work from this position.
Materializing as drawing, beading, audio, scent, scripts, video and installation, these sometimes humorous, sometimes-devastating works propose, “Who are we?” and, “I am just like you (aren’t I?).”
Somewhere between there and then, I am here contemplates the physical, emotional and spiritual experience of in-between-ness.
I’ve been doing In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) for a while, but now I’ve stopped. I hoped I would be a mother, but I’m not. I’m grieving. I feel that I have no purpose, but I am still a body. Still existing. Still in space. I’m not sure what to do next. Where I am now and where I will be soon is not clear. I am only certain that because I’m an artist, I will make work from this position.
- From ceiling to floor and from wall to wall, a highly intricate, hand sewn floral curtain, was installed. The curtain was photographed and de-installed before the show opened. A limited edition of the photograph is available in the gallery only. The image and the actual curtain are not available in any other format.
- An entire wall is covered in a hickory smoked petroleum jelly (Vaseline) wall. It stinks. The artist’s hand markings can be seen in surface of the petroleum jelly.
- An angled mirror that, at close range, reflects a window’s exact size, creating a loop of bringing the outside in and taking the inside out. The viewer is also visible in the mirror.
- A very detailed drawing on a 25 meter roll of toilet paper was located in the bathroom of the gallery on the opening night. The drawing was to be used and flushed away.
- An un-rehearsed, unscripted performance that may or may not happen at an undetermined time, to be undocumented, unrecovered, never written about. Lost.
Heidi Holmes’ art practice is founded on a reflective interest in self-improvement in all facets of life, including mental health, relationships and the greater world. With a particular interest in making work that draws from the experience of the everyday, Holmes’ recent work has explored a personal account of undertaking In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) treatment and the subsequent failings and consequences of the process. Holmes’ practice also often considers; feminism, relationships, aging and existentialism.
Toilet paper, ink, fluorescent light diffuser, hickory smoked petroleum jelly, embroidery thread, pressed and dried Sweet Pea flowers, crimp beads, cotton rag paper, mirror, an un-rehearsed, unscripted performance that may or may not occur at an undetermined time, to be undocumented.
Documentation courtesy of Heidi Holmes